#ANNNNND WE DID IT

[tim-lucy]

canon chenford project ❀ ↳ tim-lucy's top 15 scenes (ranked) #1. S03E09 "AMBER"

[nicepersondisorder]

i have decided i don't need sleep and i will do prefectly fine without it until 10pm and won't mess up during dnd game today!

[six-of-ravens]

GOOD NEWS! GRANDMA DOESN'T HAVE COVID.

NEITHER DOES THE FRIEND WHO CALLED EARLIER AND SAID SHE HAD IT. SHE DID 2 MORE TESTS AND THE FIRST ONE WAS A FALSE POSITIVE.

[ambrosiagoldfish]

I loved your Adam x 3rd spouse piece! I think you really captured his personality! I also just really like you're writing style! You did an qmzyjob and I think you'll continue make amazing pieces like this? Have a wonderful day or night and continue to rest if you can! 🥰🥰🥰

Benefit of the doubt Pt.3

Adam x 3rd Spouse! Reader

Viewer discretion is advised

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Angsty, General Adam TW’s, Reader HIGHKEY has a complex about being loved, Reader finally talks about their issues, Lucifer and Lilith scout for new kissing partner but fails miserably/hj, Lilith will probably be OOC in the future (once Season 2 comes), Adam has abandonment issues, Adam is a puppy in private but a bitch in public, And the couch returns once again (why do all the sad things happen on this couch), This is set way before the show, and Gn! Reader! (Annnnnd We popped the Y/n cherry! It’s used only once tho)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

Request box: Open

Word count: 3664

A/N: Hi!!! Thanks so much! I’m using your request as the ask for part 3 so I hope that’s ok! You all were so nice with all the love for part 1 and 2 😭😭🫶🫶 this part is also pretty long but I just couldn’t stop writing it. I wanted to do 1 more part set in the past before we jump to the angst that is the show. So I guess you could call this the penultimate part! A lot of people wanted to see Lucifer hit on Reader and try to do what he did with Lilith and Eve but with Reader. And I had quite a hard time coming up with a reason that could occur in the past but I think I figured it out.

Since Luci and Lilith would still be together at this time I’ve decided to add Lilith in as well for POLY GOALS. Also they may seem malicious but I genuinely don’t think they are (they just find Reader hot LBH) 😭😭 Also I added a few more people to the tag list!

Tags: @tired-of-life-86 @nervoussystemss @qopia @lovelyemily

It’s been a while since Adam first moved into your newly shared home. You weren’t sure exactly how long, it was hard to keep track of time in heaven. Days seemed to blur together. It made sense to you at least, it is heaven after.

After Adam moved in, your life was filled with so many new things to experience with him, and the same was true for him. While he may seem a bit brutish, (and at times he can be) he loved the new things you showed him, the new feelings you showed him.

You were so kind, so thoughtful and so, so patient with him. You never forced him to do something he didn’t want to do but you would still push him to explore new things, even managing to convince him to be a part of heaven's official duties. That’s why, at times like these, you knew exactly what to do.

The sound of Adam slamming the front door as he entered the house made you jump. Even from a few feet away, you could hear him mumbling curses about something as he plopped himself down on the couch. You followed quickly behind, gently laying next to him

“Hey, what’s wrong?” You try to keep your voice light and soothing. Looking at him it was obvious that something was bothering him. The gold feathers of his wings were unkempt from them flaring up, his halo was slightly crooked and his LED mask showed an almost snarled expression.

Your hand slowly caressed his wings, moving the out of place feathers back to normal. But no matter how hard you tried they would stick back out.

“It’s nothing, just some lame shitty meeting I have to go to tomorrow” he crosses his arms and looks away from you.

“Hmm? Something tells me there’s more to it than that, right?” You snuggle into his belly, rubbing it softly .

His mask pouts “Dammit’ bitch, how do you always see through me, huh?” He sighs defeatedly before continuing “You know how more people are starting to kick the bucket or whatever? Well, heaven’s worried about the surplus of sinners so they're having the aforementioned shitty meeting to come to a solution and…”

He pauses

“And?” You look at him anticipatingly

“And… He’ll be there.” Oh… So that's why he’s upset. “They’re having the meeting in their brand new “heaven embassy” down in hell.” His voice mocks

“Oh, I’m so sorry Adam, Have you tried asking Sera if you can sit this one out?”

Adam groans, putting his face in his hands “Yeah like forty fucking times but she keeps saying that it’s my “heavenly duty” and she won’t let me.”

You bring your arms around Adam’s neck pulling him in towards you. You weren’t sure what to do if you were being honest. There’s nothing you can do really, if even Sera won’t let him miss it. Hmm…

“Adam, I know it’s gonna suck but if you can’t get out of it, then that’s that.” Adam looks at you a little confused “but I can go with you, I’m sure Sera wouldn’t mind an extra pair of hands in the discussion.”

“What! Hell no!” He shouted as he sat up from the couch, shaking his head defiantly.

You look at him confused, “Why?”

“That’ll only make the whole thing fucking worse! If it’s just me, I don’t have to worry that he’ll get anywhere near you!” Adam’s mask turns into a slight grimace as he attempts to keep his eyes off you.

You make your way to him, the sound of your footsteps falling off as you stop in front of him. You grab his hand as the other one moves up to his face, cupping it.

“Adam…” you rubbed circles on his hand as you continued “We’re partners. You haven’t forgotten my promise right?” You play with the golden ring on his finger.

Adam groans “No, I haven’t… sigh Shit- Fine! But… just stay by me, alright?” Your face lights up before your arms wrap around his shoulders joining you both in an embrace

“Of course,” you rub his wings gently before you grasp his hands in yours, leading him by them. “Come on, you must be tired right? It’s getting late. Couch or bed?”

“Couch. I’m way not in the mood to make a bed right now.” You laugh at his comment as you pull him to lay on the couch with you. His soft, warm body pushes up against you as you both slowly drift off to sleep for the day ahead.

-

A not-too familiar sight laid before you, the pearly gates of heaven, guarded by the one and only Saint Peter. There was no real reason for you to ever come here. You never had the chance to die, which is when most, if not all Winners see it for the first time. No one’s allowed to leave heaven unless given permission by a higher up and on top of all that, you weren’t really that enticed to leave the oh-so perfect afterlife, so there had never been a reason to see these golden gates.

But now, here you were standing behind them with some other angels. You didn’t know most of them, the only ones you recognized were Sera and Adam. As expected, it was pretty easy to convince Sera to let Adam take you along. They even prepared an extra wide seat for both of you to share. How generous!

Ever since you woke up this morning, Adam had been… Nervous? Scared? The right word doesn’t really matter but he’s been sweating buckets and was clearly more agitated than normal. His feathers were once again unkempt and you tried your best to keep them in order but he always seemed to get them messy.

Eventually, right on schedule, a flaming portal opened in front of the group. Sera was the first to enter, then followed by the others. Finally it was just you and Adam but as you take a step towards the portal, Adam stops you

“What is it?” You look up at him.

“Just… stay by me, ok?” Adam’s voiced was softer than normal, a way he only did when you two were alone

Nodding your head with a smile, your hand comes down and interlocks his. One of his bright golden wings veils itself around you, bringing you closer to him. You snuggle into him slightly before you both step into the portal.

You didn’t know what to expect when you stepped through the portal but a sight that was almost like home awaited you. The familiar gold that heaven was so fond of was everywhere in the building, accents of white and orange were also present. All and all, it was a familiar sight in a not-so familiar place.

But there was definitely something that wasn’t familiar in that place. Sitting in a chair at the end of the room was him, Lucifer Morningstar. The aura he had definitely made him seem angelic but there was clearly something about him that separated himself from divinity. Though you do have to admit that he was much shorter than you anticipated.

There was something that surprised you however, to his left sat a tall woman with long blond hair and horns. It took you a second to put 2&2 together but when you heard Adam mutter “Shit…” you knew immediately it was Lilith. And from Adam’s reaction even he wasn’t expecting her to be there.

You squeeze his hand gently as comfort, giving him a smile before you both walk to your seat. Your body is pushed closer to him as his wing wraps tighter around you. Looks like there’s no calming him down.

Finally the meeting starts, Sera begins by explaining the issue of the fast growing population in hell, leading to groups trying to form uprisings against heaven. To be honest you didn’t really understand it too well, just a lot of business-y sounding words that weren't really your forte. So you just stayed quiet.

From what you could tell, the meeting was going… well? They haven’t been able to agree on a proper decision even with Sera leading the conversation. Adam though, was being eerily quiet. You don't even think he’s said a word since you both got there. Sera seemed to notice this.

“Adam, want to share any ideas?” Sera spoke in an encouraging tone slightly gesturing to him. This seemed to catch Lucifer and Lilith’s attention. Maybe they didn’t recognize Adam because of the mask?

Adam was caught off guard but still talked “Oh uh… Man, I don’t know, can’t we just fucking kill them?” Both you and Sera looked over in surprise, “What? That would solve the problem wouldn't it? “ He shrugged

Sera sighed “Ok, how about we take a short recess to clear our minds to let in new ideas. We’ll resume the meeting in 30 minutes”

With that, everyone went their separate ways for the time being, you and Adam were the first to leave the board room, he practically was pulling you along and you could tell he wanted out of there. You both ended up in the lobby, neither of you saying a word.

The silence was so very loud. The only sound was yours and Adam’s breathing. Adam’s hand was still firmly tied to yours, not even the slightest hint of letting go. You rubbed your thumb in circles over his hand when a voice echoed through the air

“Adam, may I have a word?” Sera’s voice echoed lightly through the lobby. She gestured to a door next to her. You both made your way over to her and was about to go in when Sera put her hand in front of Adam stopping him

“What the hell Sera?!”

“Alone, please.”

Adam’s LED eyes widened his mouth slightly agape. He looked down with a scowl before turning his face to you. Your free hand going up to his mask, caressing it.

“Go talk with Sera,”

“But-“

“Shh, I’ll be fine,” You give him a kiss on the cheek, the cold of the metallic mask reaching your lips, “I’ll just be in the lobby, I won’t go anywhere till you get back. Ok?” Adam didn’t look at you, clearly avoiding eye contact, you grab his chin lightly and gently turn him to look at you,

“Ok?”

Adam’s mouth formed a frown and he groaned “Fuck- fine, ok…” You gave him a smile as Sera walked into the room, you felt his grip loosen and loosen, until finally his soft hand left yours as he walked into the room. He gave one final look back before closing the room's door.

Silence filled the air once again. It wasn’t like it was with Adam, that comfortable silence that you shared ever so often. This one laid in the air, thick and heavy, threatening to suffocate you at any given moment. You sat on one of the many yellow and white sofas in the lobby.

You tried your best to ignore it. Paying attention to less important details about the scenery around you. The weird zigzagging pattern of the carpet of the floor, the intricate designs on the doors, the huge windows. Heaven sure had a unique taste in interior design.

You tried so hard to ignore the silence that you eventually ignored the sound that broke said silence. Footsteps began echoing through the lobby approaching you. You didn’t realize someone was next to you until you heard a voice say.

“Ahem Hello!” A male voice startled you as it chimed in with a sickening sweet tone. You look towards the direction of the voice only to be greeted by the king of hell himself, Lucifer. You jumped back to the other side of the sofa in shock.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to scare ya.” He chuckled softly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m Lucifer, But judging on your reaction, I guess you already knew that. I’ve never seen you before so you must be relatively new, right?”

You nodded your head sheepishly to answer his question. You honestly didn’t know what else to do, what could you do? You slowly picked yourself up from the sofa.

“I’m sorry but I have to go-“ you turn to leave only to bump into a tall woman. You must have been so surprised by Lucifer that you completely missed Lilith coming up behind you.

“But we haven’t even learned your name yet, Dear.” The woman’s voice sounded both somber but also welcoming, it was quite frightening how much it could calm your nerves if you kept listening to it. “How about we talk? No harm in it, right?”

“That’s a wonderful idea, Darling!” Lucifer came up from behind you, a sharp smile on his face. “Come on, sit and chat!”

Crap… they had you cornered. You had no telling what they’d do if you set them off, you wanted the meeting to go as smoothly as possible, for Adam. A few minutes to indulge them. that’s it.

You bit your lip but sighed “Ok… but just a few minutes”

“Great!” Lilith took your shoulders moving you to sit down beside her as Lucifer sat on the other side, sandwiching you between them. “So, I’ll ask again, what’s your name?”

You hesitated for a moment but decided it was better to get the conversation over with as quickly as possible.

“Y/n”

“That’s a very beautiful name,” Lucifer spoke, his tone trying to make him sound almost charming, almost. “So, if you don’t mind us asking, who are you to… Adam?” He gestured over to the door Sera and Adam went through earlier.

“I’m his spouse.” This time you answered with complete confidence, not even a shred of hesitation in your voice.

“Ah!” Lucifer nodded his head in understanding. “How’s that going?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I for one know how much of a hassle that man-child is,” Lilith laughs, covering her mouth slightly “I asked around, is it true he hasn’t taken that ridiculous mask off since he got it, hmm? Has he even shown you his real face yet?”

“No but-“

“He can be so… tiresome at times, don’t you agree?”

“No. I don’t. Adam is the best thing to ever happen to me-“

“Exactly.” Lucifer interrupted you as your eyes furrowed “You don’t have anything else to compare it to. Of course you’d see trash like the “first man” as the best thing ever.”

Trash. That word really set you off, at least it would have, if it wasn’t for the next sentence .

“But hey! It’s fine! Eve was the same way! You too are honestly very alike, let me tell you-“

Thousands upon thousands of thin threads binding you up. That’s what this conversation felt like. Each annoyance was just a new thread getting tighter and tighter as they were pulled taut, threatening to simply slice through your body, your soul. But they didn’t, instead they kept stretching past their limits until finally those words came.

Like… Eve. It felt like each of those tightly pulled threads were all cut at once with those words. Any and all tension suddenly seemed to disappear. A strange sensation of losing any care about your situation.

You know what? To hell with the meeting! You quickly stood up from the sofa causing them both to jump slightly. You turned toward them, your voice was louder than you thought was possible for you. You weren’t sure what had gotten into you but you felt so… Angry.

“I am nothing like Eve. And I’m especially nothing like either of you.” You had enough, it was untelling what would happen if you stayed. You started walking toward the room Adam was in when Lucifer grabbed your arm

“Wait! That’s not what I meant-“

“Don’t touch me, snake” you stared daggers at him before quickly grabbing his hand and shoving it off.

“We’re sorry if we upset you Dear, but that’s no way to talk to someone” Lilith walks up to you, putting an arm in front of Lucifer in a protective stance.

You walk up to the tall woman, she was at least two heads taller than you but still, you barred your teeth before speaking “Oh! You really think I care about what the first whore thinks of me, Huh?” Your voice dripped with poison from every word.

Even Lilith seemed caught off guard by your sudden change in demeanor as her face turned into a scowl. Red horns protruded through Lucifer’s head, his eyes turning red with anger. You turn your attention back to him.

“What are you gonna do?” Lucifer’s gaze slightly softened with hesitation “Exactly, nothing. Less’ you want to dig yourself deeper into this cyst pool you’ve created for yourself and end up on even worse terms with heaven.”

Without even sparing them a glance, you try to make it to the room, only to be greeted by Adam and Sera standing by the door. How long were they standing there? You must have not heard them over your screaming..

“What the fuck are you assholes doing to them? ” You rush over and grab him by the hand, the action startling him “Babe, what happened-“

“Nothing. Sera. Open a portal back home.”

“But-“

“Sera!” Your voice was gritty and rough “open a portal. Now... Please…” your voice cracked at the end

Sera had never seen you show so much anger before, but here you were, your entire gaze filled with nothing but pure unadulterated wrath.Threatening to burn anyone who got in your way. Whatever happened clearly set you off like nothing else before.

Sera nods her head “Understood”

“Thank you…”

A familiar flaming portal opened up, you quickly made your way through it with Adam following suit. The portal ended up right inside your home, closing as you both were fully through. You honestly didn’t know where you were going but eventually your body couldn’t go any further than the couch

Feeling the soft couch beneath you made your aching muscles feel like they were melting away, and only then did you realize that you were crying.

Adam crawled next to you, hugging close to you. “What the happened out there, Babe?”

You felt your body slowly break down, as more tears left you then you had cried your entire existence. Adam hugged you tighter, his wings coming over you like a blanket.

“H-How much did you see?” Your voice was shaky as you sniffed slightly.

“Not a lot, just some shit towards the end,what did those bastards say to you?”

You cleared your throat slightly. “I only talked to them because I didn’t want them to get upset and ruin the meeting and make your day even worse than it already was”

Adam’s LED mask shifted into a small sad frown “Sweetheart, you never have to talk to any motherfuckers you don’t want to, let alone for me. “

You smile but look away “it wasn’t… it wasn’t…” you tried to get the words out but couldn’t. You took a deep breath before trying one more time,”It wasn’t the only thing that set me off.” Adam looks at you curious

“They said that I reminded them of… Eve, and it just made me so… angry. I was created for you, to love you-“ your tears start swelling back up as you spoke “I want to be so much better than Eve, than Lilith for you. And then she pointed out how I’ve never seen Your face, which I’ve always been fine with, but at that moment, I started to think ‘what if they’re right?’ What if the reason you don’t want me to see you is because I also remind you of Eve”

You choked back tears “So to be compared to her when I’ve tried so hard… if I’m not better than her for you, then what is even the point of me! I was created to make you happy, if I can’t do that better than someone who hurt you so bad then I’m just useless-“

Soft lips met yours, cutting you off. This felt different than what you normally got on the cheek. It was warm compared to the cold metallic feel you’ve felt previously. Your eyes opened slightly looking at Adam’s LED mask… or what you thought was going to be a mask. He had pulled his mask off while you were crying.

You pulled back from the kiss “Adam your mask!” Adam just kisses back again

“That fucking thing doesn’t matter right now.” He paused “You're not useless and will never be useless to me. Fuck- I love you because I love you! Not because you were created for me or some stupid shit like that! You make me so fucking happy. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you were just some object that was made to make me feel better, because you aren’t.”

“Adam…” to think tears could roll down your face this harder than before “I love you so much Adam” you cry into his soft chest.

Adam kisses you again “I love you too Sweetcheeks.” Adam paused before clearing his throat “So umm… how do I look? I hope I didn't disappoint you…”

You look up at his newly unveiled face, just as you had been told, short brown hair, golden eyes, and a little bit of stubble on his chin. By all accounts, he was completely ordinary. So ordinarily perfect.

“Perfect. So so perfect. What’d I do to end up with such a handsome husband, hmm?”

“Oh stop, now you’re just being fucking cheesy” he laughs, he would never admit it but his eyes were a little watery just from hearing you say that.

“It’s true though” you lean in and wrap your arms around him, killing you both with a deep kiss.

Truly ordinary. You couldn’t be happier

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Vaggie: “Babe, you have an amazing brain, love everything going on in there-”

Charlie: “Thank you!”

Vaggie: “-but we need a LITTLE bit of organization or we’re NEVER gonna remember what great ideas you had five minutes ago.”

Charlie: “Wait, what great idea did I have five minutes ago???”

Vaggie: “I don’t know. You scribbled it on a napkin and there’s like, five hundred of those scattered around our room.”

Charlie: “Aw shoot.”

Vaggie: “Some of them are folded in the shape of swans?"

Charlie: "Nnnoooo I've been trying so hard not to DO that so much!!!"

Vaggie: "It’s, pretty impressive honestly.”

Charlie: (huffs) “Okay. Fine. Maaaybe you’re right. Maybe I might have a slight, uh, organizing thoughts problem.”

Vaggie: “No worries sweetie, I have a solution.”

Vaggie: (dramatically steps aside) “BAM!”

Charlie: “OH OH VAGGIE! YOU GOT ME METAL BOXES~!”

Vaggie: “They’re filing cabinets.”

Charlie: “OHHHHH!!!”

Charlie: “…..”

Charlie: “How… how do we activate the filing cabinets?”

Vaggie: “You put your ideas in folders, label the tabs on the folders, put them in a drawer, and label each drawer. Then when you’re looking for something you just open the drawer and-”

Charlie: “Bam?”

Vaggie: “Bam. There it is. The brilliant ideas of Charlie Morningstar.”

Charlie: “As organized by Vaggie, her amazing wonderful super smart and beautiful girlfriend!!!!!”

Vaggie: (chuckling) “I don’t think looking good has anything to do with organizing…”

Charlie: “Hmm, you still are though, miss good looking. Annnnnd it DOES have a lot to do with what I’m thinking about right now.”

Vaggie: “What’re you thinking, Charlie?”

Charlie: (grins)

Vaggie: “…really? Right here, in front of our new cabinets?”

Charlie: “Heheh. I like it when stuff is ‘ours’~”

Vaggie: “Why do I get the feeling the first recorded thoughts of Charlie Morningstar are gonna have to be filed under ‘for our eyes only’.”

Charlie: “Your smirk would have to go there too then. But does this mean it’s a good idea!?”

Vaggie: “Definitely.”

Charlie: “WOO! Kisses kisses kisses-”

Vaggie: “AFTER we’ve cleaned up all these napkins. AND have neatly folded the ones that aren’t already swans.”

Charlie: “Wh- but- but there’s almost five hundred of them!! The kisses-?”

Vaggie: “One kiss per every fifty napkins, how’s that sound?

Charlie: (pouting) “Insufficient kiss ratio.”

Vaggie: “Sorry, but as much as organizing your brain turns me on, the storm of paper in here is kinda a total mood killer. No way I can focus on anything with this mess everywhere. So. Start cleaning.”

Charlie: “I’m starting to think writing on napkins was my worst idea yet…”

Vaggie: “Could’ve been worse. Could’ve been paper airplanes again.”

Charlie: “THEN I could’ve just thrown them all out the window! Be free! Fly!!! Shoo! Let me make out with my girlfriend in peace!”

Vaggie: “Ha!”

Charlie: “…. Vaggie. What if we-”

Vaggie: “Charlie no.”

Charlie: “Oh come on! Swans can fly!”

Vaggie: “Not when they’re fancy origami ones that we’ll just have to clean up later anyway.”

Charlie: “Feh. Stupid ideas on stupid napkins.”

Vaggie: “Would one kiss per every two dozen napkins make you feel better?’

Charlie: “Yes.” (deep sigh) “But I’ve only folded ten.”

Vaggie: “Perfect, I’ve done fourteen, so that makes two dozen.”

Charlie: “Wh-”

Vaggie: “Kiss ratio completed.”

Charlie: “It’s based on our combined number???”

Vaggie: “Why not. You like it when stuff is ‘ours’, don’t you.”

Charlie: “….yesthankyouiloveyouonekissplease.”

- a few several many moments later –

Charlie: “….���

Charlie: “I’m suddenly getting the idea that… those were way more than one kiss.”

Vaggie: “I don’t care and wasn’t keeping count. File it under ‘Vaggie can’t multitask for shit’.”  

Charlie: “Mmm, ehhh. I think we just need a ‘Vaggie has AMAZING focus while kissing, but specifically only on the actual kissing’ folder instead.”

Vaggie: “Are you trying to get me to kiss you again.”

Charlie: “Is it working?”

Vaggie: (shoving napkins in her hands) “Here. Fold.”

Charlie: “I’m filing that under a yes~”

Vaggie: “Charlie. Fold. NOW.”

Charlie: “Hm-hmm-hm-hmmm~” (folding at lightspeed) “My newest great idea is that we should get even MORE filing cabinets.”

Vaggie: “Oh for-”(throws aside napkins) “-fuck’s sake-” (gives up and kisses her again)

[nonbinary-odo]

Captain's log, supplemental. Excitement from the newly rediscovered Earth holiday known as Pride Month has taken DS9 by storm. I only hope in all their merriment, my officers do not forget their duties.

---

"Brother! I found another one!" Rom declared.

"Let me see that," Quark snatched the PADD from his hands. "No good, it's another of those 'combo' flags."

"Annnnnd what's wrong with that?"

"What's wrong with it? It means they only need to buy one of Quark's Commemorative Pride Pins! At 3 slips I'm already practically giving them away! I'm all for these hu-mon holidays so long as they don't drive a man out of business!"

---

"Sorry Odo, the rules are very clean on this one: no cops at Pride."

Odo nodded, hands squarely behind his back. "Understandable, Major. I do not see much benefit in my attendance of a Solid holiday, regardless."

Dax looked like her heart was just crushed. "But this is Odo we're talking about, can't we make an exception? Besides, I already picked up his pins from Quark."

"Lieutenant, I hardly-"

Jadzia cut him off by pinning three different pride flags to Odo's "shirt". The backgrounds had horizontal bars of color, and the foreground featured Quark's smiling face, complete with an ad for his other holiday products. Odo sighed. Kira laughed.

---

"Oh come now, Garak..." Julian paced the length of the Tailor's shop, he looked quite at home, to pull at as many items of clothing as he did. "You won't have to do anything, we'll just be walking!'

Hands close to his chest, highly offended, Garak pointed a delicate finger to the bright pins on Bashir's chest.

"And I suppose you expect me to wear those horrendous bobbles I have been seeing all across the station?"

"Garak-"

"My dear doctor, I would no sooner be caught pairing Tholian silk with Tarkalean wool. You know, I would have quite the comments for whoever came up with these bright, clashing combinations. Constable Odo of all people has seemed to pick the most sensible of them, his all share a sense of color story-"

"We don't pick them, Garak."

"And yours, I understand wearing one color day after day may make you blind to it, but doctor, not even your blues match."

"Garak, if you don't want to join me, you are welcome to stay here."

"Stay here? My dear doctor, I wouldn't dream of missing it."

---

"Captain, your station is out of control. On Terok Nor, we would never allow for such riots to spread across the station." Dukat's voice buzzed through the view screen.

"Listen to me, Dukat. What I allow on my station is my business and mine alone. What you call a riot, I call a celebration. This holiday is a joyous expression of self even your ego should be able to get behind. Now I will NOT have your internalized homophobia twist what this parade is about!"

"Captain, my wha-"

"Computer, end transmission."

[ofmdrecaps]

09/02-03/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Samba Schutte; Con O'Neill; Kristian Nairn; Nathan Foad; Leslie Jones; Lindsey Cantrell; Connor Barrett; Dominic Burgess; Sept 2: OFMD Marmalade Day; Trends; Articles; TellTaleTV Final Round; WWDITS 10th Anniversary Blurays; FanSpotlight: FanWeeks: OFMD Sequel Week; Stede Whump Week; Never Left Podcast; Love Notes;

== David Jenkins ==

David's out at the US Open with Kinga!

Source: David Jenkins' Instagram Stories

== Rhys Darby ==

Rhys is EVERYWHERE this week, jeez. He really is causing a stir on every single platform, let me tell you. Below he's having a bit of a drink with some friends, out and about with Rosie!

Source: Facebook

Next up-- there's a new Indy Dramedy that just wrapped called "Song Of The Bigfoot" and Deadline has some new info on it!

Source: Rhys' Instagram Stories

Rhys is also looking to help raise some funds for the Kitten Rescue we all remember well from earlier this year! You can bid on this signed OFMD picture of the cast! To bid, visit here.

Source: Rhys' Twitter

Rhys also shared an older video of him discussing wanting to be Earths Ambassador!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by 10,000 Dreams x Fraser Grut (@frasergrut)

Source: Rhys Darby's Instagram

Annnnnd more shots are becoming available from the 100th episode of the Cryptid Factor, Live in London!

Source: The Cryptid Factor Instagram

And finally, Last But CERTAINLY not least, there's a new The Cryptid Factor special episode for the $10 / Tier on Patreon!

Source: The Cryptid Factor Patreon

== Taika Waititi ==

Some more shots of Taika while he was out and about! Also a recipe for the Pispili that he and Andy Hearnden shared on instagram a while back!

Source: Instagram

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Andy Cooks (@andyhearnden)

and lastly a quick little tiktok of the Forever Young Rita & Taika!

Source: Rita Ora's Tiktok

== Samba Schutte ==

Samba's out at Nickelodeon studios doing some voice over work!

Source: Samba's Instagram

== Kristian Nairn / WJW ==

Surprise #WeeJohnWednesday! 9pm BST (4pm EST, 1pm PST) tomorrow-- Sept 4!

Source: Kristian's Twitter

A huge thank you to @adoptourcrew for getting us the Kristian Nairn OFMD blurb from the latest Popverse Article (it is behind a sign up, but here's the article!)

Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter

== Con O'Neill ==

Con taking a nap with Cooper now that he's back from Mexico <3 (and David Fane was a sweetheart and popped his head in as well).

Source: Con's Instagram

== Nathan Foad ==

Nathan back at the bedroom selfies again!

Source: Nathan's Instagram Stories

== Linds Cantrell ==

Linds Cantrell did an Ask Me Anything on Instagram today while she was waiting for a plane! She answered several questions, including something regarding OFMD BTS which may be completely out, but she'll be going to LA Comic Con in October! I'm planning on making a post with all her answers when I get a moment, but here's a few!

Source: Lindsey Cantrell's Instagram Stories

== Leslie Jones ==

Leslie is out here rocking a workout, and looking bad ass <3

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Leslie Jones (@lesdogggg)

Source: Leslie Jones Instagram

== Dominic Burgess ==

Our dear Jeffrey Fettering, Dominic, blessed us today with some kitties as well as a shot.. of well him getting a shot!

Source: Dominic's Twitter

== September 2, Marmalade Day ==

Several of our crew members continued the September festivities with Marmalade Day on Sept 2!

Source: HSavernake's Twitter

Source: Astroglide Twitter

== Articles ==

Thank you @adoptourcrew for sharing another article talking about OFMD!

Source: Adopt Our Crew's Twitter

== More Trends ==

Heyyy guess who was trending on Sept 2 on TUMBLR! (I believe it was because of the Sept 1 Dickfuck/Lighthouse day, but could be have been more! let me know if you know something else happened! Thank you to the badass @poison-into-positivity for catching it <3

Source: @poison-into-positivity's Tumblr

== Tell Tale TV Voting Reminders ==

Reminder! Stede and Ed are in the final round of Ship of the Year! Please visit TellTale TV! Thank you @ofmd-ann for the reminder dear!

Source: Ofmd-Ann's Tumblr

== What We Do In The Shadows Bluray ==

Okay so WWDITS is not OFMD but it has Rhys and Taika so gonna send a boost out of this! Thank you to the absolutely spectacular @ jimjim531969 over on twitter for always bringing the latest cool news regarding the cast. You truly are a gem <3

Also per Jim:

Links to pre-order the WWDITS 10th anniversary blu-ray:

Australia & NZ (16 October, 2024)

USA & Canada (November 1st, 2024): Amazon or Barnes & Noble

UK (01/11/2024)

Source: @ jimjim531969 on Twitter

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Upcoming Fan Weeks =

* OFMD Sequel Week *

There's a new Fan-Week been announced for Nov 17 - 23, OFMD Sequel Week! Check them out on Twitter and give them a follow to keep up with the latest news!

Source: OFMDSequelWeek Twitter

* Stede Whump Week *

Stede Whump Week will be happening 28 Oct - 3rd Nov, and the bingo cards for that week are now available on Twitter!

Source: Stede Whump Week Twitter

= Never Left Podcast =

There's a new episode of Never Left out, and it's Part 2 of the discussion on Birds! Wanna check it out? Visit their linktr.ee!

Source: Never Left Podcast Instagram

== Love Notes ==

Hey lovelies. Hoping your week is progressing in an upward direction. I hopefully get to finally talk to my dad tomorrow after over a week of everything going on, so I'll be in and out of things again. I know everyone is dealing with their own level of craziness right now, and I want to remind you that you're doing great no matter what you're dealing with. It could be little, it could be huge, it could be life-changing, or could be making you regress further back than you'd like-- whatever it is, you are getting through the best way you can, and you never have to feel bad about that.

I know it can feel like there's never an end to the chaos-- but remember that there are pockets of joy and love there in this life too, and however you need to cope with your daily struggles, don't feel bad in taking solace in that. Enjoy the little things, no matter how small. Rest up lovelies, breathe in, breathe out, drink some water, and keep going. Below is a very appropriate love note (for me personally but for so many others as well), courtesy of the amazing The Latest Kate. Not everything is clear right now, but it'll get there, just stay with us, and don't give up. Sending you so much love, crew <3

Source: The Latest Kate's Tumblr

[ohmotherwhereartthou-if]

Can we have RO reaction to running into bounty hunter MC while their catching a criminal, MC says “Hi Love!”

Then proceeds to see MC knocking out said criminal

LMAO 🤣

Cassandra: She is utterly gagged, mouth left fully agape and speechless. Her cheeks would heat up a tad bit and she would then clear her throat and straighten up, giving MC a nod and a thumbs up. "Well done, babe."

Valeria: Surprised at first but quickly turns into MC's little cheerleader. "Ooh, wow, okay. That was cool, GREAT JOB HONEY!!!"

Tomas: Silent yet wide eyed first reaction, he is completely silent for a minute because that is how bro processes everything. But once he gets his bearings he would straight up, slow clap. He doesn't like MC being a bounty hunter because it's a dangerous job and he worries, but he isn't such a priss that he wouldn't admit a little bit to himself that watching this whole random encounter wasn't hot. Because it was, it most definitely was. Would he outwardly admit that? Hell no. You're getting a bitchy slow clap with pursed lips and barely restrained fiery looking eyes. "...Hello mi vida, keeping busy?."

-

Ludovica: Her outside the Villa? Very unlikely but let's say she's out shopping for the first time ever and then this happens. Cue a very girly scream, followed by a confused, "Um, hello...?" Then the realization hits, "Oh diletto, it's you!" And then comes the moment it all comes together... "Oddio, my goodness are you okay?! What are you doing? Who are they?!" Annnnnd then she freaks out lol.

Aurelio: Shook for nearly half a second before he quickly recollects himself and started applauding MC, and bragging to any nearby crowds. "Did you all see that?! What an excellent capture of a brutish thug by this handsome/beautiful individual, bravissimo!"

And when someone who knows him (and by extension MC since he's kind of a celebrity and he brags about you all the time) asks, "Isn't that you lover, fra?"

He responds instantly, "Why yes they are! Isn't he/she amazing?!"

Of course it's always a trap just to be able to brag about you more.

Elio: Stone faced and looks at you like an impassive cat, and starts yapping like nothing is out of place. "Hello Amorino. It's funny, I was just thinking of you and now here you are. I see you've got your hands full with work, but do you think should we eat fish or steak tonight? I thought that tonight we should really open that fancy bottle your last employer gifted you and treat ourselves." (read: himself) Make no mistake, when he openly butters you up in an obvious way it's because he wants something lol.

[thelaughtercafe]

Makoto, Byakuya, Nagito, Hajime and Fuyuhiko figuring out you're ticklish

Tea Type: Rose Boba

Potential Triggers: N/A

Pairing: Makoto/F! Reader, Byakuya/F! Reader, Nagito/F! Reader, Hajime/F! Reader

Length: 1.1k+

Summary: N/A

Makoto Naegi:

Save this pure boy. 

He just wanted a cuddle dammit-

He didn’t expect you to lurch halfway across the room when he squeezed around your middle. 

Becomes pouty and timidly asks if he did something wrong. 

You can’t say no to his puppy dog eyes and shyly explain that you’re just ticklish. 

Immediately cheers up. 

“Aw that’s all it was? You had me worried!” 

Wiggles his fingers playfully at you and his grin is a little too mischievous for your liking.

“Maybe we can figure out where else you’re ticklish…we gotta be thorough after all.”

Don’t forget the fact that Makoto is a big brother. They’re always master lers in my head. And mean. 

Don’t provoke the hope boi. 

Byakuya Togami:

He knew before you even told him honestly.

Caught your flinch when Hina hugged you from behind and didn’t think much of it until you were already dating. 

You were ranting about something and he’d been half listening, half reading his book and stroking your hair absentmindedly when you squealed as his fingertips gently brushed across your neck.

Gave a small hum as he saw how red you became, causing him to roll his eyes. 

“No need to be embarrassed, dummy. It’s perfectly natural to be ticklish. It’s a tactic from evolution that we got over time. Probably from when we were still cave people and afraid of poisonous bugs. Now though it’s more a way to either facilitate mating or bonding in general due to the release of endorphins.”

From then on incorporates tickling more in an attempt to get you used to it.

And maybe to initiate that bonding too.

Nagito Komaeda:

Thinks he’s not worthy of touching you so makes an active effort to not touch others.

Which leads to touch starvation.

Ironically, despite that sweet facade- gets jealous easily. 

He is…nearly possessive, despite keeping a distance 

So when he spots Hajime making you laugh and his keen eyes also pick up the way you arch into his touch-

He’s ashamed to say he wants to do that too. 

But not just to anyone. 

To you. 

Tries to fight it for a while before he can no longer bear keeping his distance, or you burst into tears after a particularly cruel comment he’s made. 

He can’t do this anymore. He just can’t. Luck cycle be damned. If he has to keep you attached to him at all times to make sure whatever happens to you happens to him too? 

So be it. 

Even after everything is out in the open and you trust him and encourage him constantly he still is a little apprehensive with touching and just holds your hand. 

Whether or not you’re dealing with touch starvation yourself you may if you start dating Nagito at first. 

But that all changes when he sees Fuyuhiko find out.

You’d always been unafraid of the Yakuza heir so there was a kind of rivalry filled friendship there. It was playful, and when Fuyuhiko’s face lights up with a smirk and Nagito sees the embarrassed blush on your cheeks and the way you’re getting shy, turning to mush-

Oh. 

He’s already hovering over Fuyuhiko and smiling a little too wildly as he mentions Peko being flirted with by Teruteru.

You had your suspicions but when he turned and you saw the intensity swirling in his eyes…

“Did…Are you jealous, Nagito?”

Your breath catches as he backs you up against the wall Fuyuhiko had been leaning on moments before, making your face heat. 

This was a different side to him.

You still couldn’t bring yourself to break eye contact though.

“I know someone as awful as me shouldn’t have the right to touch you but I-”

Annnnnd he was back to his old self.

Fed up with his self-deprecation and also getting a little desperate you roughly grabbed his hands and tugged them toward your sides with pleading eyes.

A small smirk tugged at his lips at the action and he lightly fluttered his fingers underneath your shirt, making you instinctively squeak at the coldness of his fingers as well as the tickling before you tried to squirm in his grip. And then he teased.

“Hm? What’s wrong baby? I thought you were all desperate for me to tickle you…why are you struggling?”

It wasn’t much…but it was a start. 

Hajime Hinata:

Observant boi!! 

Calls it out the second it happens with too much nonchalance. 

“Oh sorry, didn’t mean to tickle you; I just needed to grab my drink.”

When you tease him for his love of orange juice he smirks a little and 

 sets his drink down with purpose before approaching and scribbling your sides. 

“If you wanted me to continue, you could’ve just asked nicely you know. Now I have to punish you~”

Does this adorable evil laugh before continuing to play around with you until you’re a panting mess.

Leaves you on the floor as he nonchalantly sips at his juice and pretends he doesn’t notice the cherry red blush on your face. 

Absolutely files the information away for later. 

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu:

Baby gangsta is not the type to initiate physical contact, even once you’ve started dating.

At least not in public. 

He’s the Ultimate Yakuza after all; like Hell is he risking your life just to show PDA. 

If shown with affection he tends to curse and go red, especially in public. Even little things like holding his hand or sneaking a peck on the cheek. 

In private it’s a little better he typically will just grumble but begrudgingly return it in his own way. 

He starts gradually letting you when surrounded by your close friends which is what leads to him finding out.

Another big brother, but with a very different dynamic than Makoto with Komaru. 

Fuyuhiko actually ends up getting tickled first, by his sister, and you find yourself face to face with a seemingly enraged yakuza heir when you let a giggle slip. 

Big mistake. 

“You think that’s funny do you?”

His sneer turns to a familiar smirk and your heart skips a beat as he easily overpowers you, raising your arms with one hand before he claws your tummy and his sister joins in as she gets your underarms. 

You don’t stand a chance. 

Have fun dying. 

Uses it to make you smile and/or fuck with you from then on. 

As a treat after a hard day. 

Or to remind himself you’re alive and with him and he’s got you when the nightmares make him awake with a scream instinctively muffled by his hand. 

And if you notice the tear streaks when you awake with a scream of laughter you certainly don’t say anything. 

Besides, you’ll have matching ones by the time he’s done with you.

He’s lucky you love him so much. 

[landoscaring]

my thoughts after the statements provided by mclaren, lando, and oscar about team orders (azerbaijan gp media day)

folks, it's happening.

everyone and their mother is losing their freaking head over the confirmation we've been waiting to hear for weeks: oscar has been asked by mclaren to help lando's wdc chances.

couple of things, in no particular order:

1. the key word is asked. for weeks oscar has been adamant in his interviews about the fact that the team hadn't asked him to help lando. take monza as an example where he was basically told the complete opposite. am i glad they asked? not really. did i know they would? of course.

2. where did the hesitancy come from, you may ask, why did they wait so long? there's a few possible reasons, all of them purely speculative. i for one believe they needed more data to move on with the plan. it wouldn't make much sense to go all the way with the lando wdc agenda if they were unsure about the ratio between lando's performance, the car's performance, annnnnd red bull's shitshow. monza confirmed all three (i would argue we've known for a little longer than that, but i am no strategist). max's performance going down consistently was most likely the final push they needed to make the call.

3. what does this mean for oscar? we'll know for sure on sunday, i think, but i'm pretty positive we'll see same old osc trying to score as many points as possible (think wcc). he will not slow down or make any significant changes to how he approaches the race. there's an a-z list of scenarios at play here, but things will most likely boil down to him helping lando out mid race (think pit order, covering, helping him find cleaner air) and in the last few laps, if he finds himself in a better position, he'll most likely slow down and let lando pass. i don't think this is necessarily a situation that will be recurrent for the rest of the season, realistically. oscar's only ever been in front of lando a handful of times.

4. what does lando say? what you'd expect from an experienced driver like him. he understands that oscar has a right to race him, and he doesn't want him to simply roll over and let him pass every race. plans seem to have been discussed, so in good theory things should work out. as lando said, people on the outside think it's as easy as just telling oscar to help him and bam, wdc achieved. a lot of things are going to play a part here, and even with oscar's help lando's wdc is still a stretch (think race strat mistakes they've made in the past, risky corners, and ferrari's rising performance with charles in 3rd place in the standings.)

5. why are team orders so controversial? they've been around forever. i think most of us just like to romanticize the situation because we like both drivers so much, and thus we want them to succeed equally. that's just not possible in this sport. both drivers know this, and we as fans have to make peace with it.

6. sigh. mclaren, mclaren, mclaren. i've been guilty of cursing them many, many times, but to offer some perspective: i think newer fans might not realize that there are three elements in F1 that guarantee a team's success. There's having a good driver lineup, a competitive car, and an effective team strategy. most teams have been trying to get all three for decades. some have the strat and the car, but not the drivers. some have the drivers and the strat, but not the car. mclaren very recently checked off the car box, and the lineup box, and they've been struggling with the last one. they've only been in this position for months, and they've had a lot of movement within the team. hopefully they figure it out for the upcoming season.

anyways, enough rambling. let's hope for the best, y'all 🧡

[cairavende]

Worm Arc 21 thoughts:

Well that was sure a turn around from last arc's "I'm going to rally the students so I don't get captured."

I know my daughter has made some . . . mistakes, but I'm not a fan of her turning herself into the openly corrupted and also bad at their job parahuman cops.

(Parahuman cops as in "cops who police parahumans" not "cops who are parahumans")

Like look, I get it. A precog told her to cut ties. I can't say it's wrong to follow that advice. But she could do that in a lot of ways that don't involve the PRT.

The second not from Dinah just being "I'm sorry" is brutal.

But before she can turn herself in she has to absolutely fucking crush the PRT/Protectorate for outing her civilian identity.

I love how fucking simple taking out the entire PRT headquarters was for Skitter and her girlfriends!

Who needs anyone else? Bitch brings muscle, Tattletale brings information, Skitter brings battlefield control. Lesbian polycule power activate!

Was it an overboard response? Maybe. Was it badass how she just took out so many heroes and PRT troops with ease? Yes.

Poor Dovetail has one of the most embarrassing introductions ever. First time we see her and Skitter is wiping the floor with her and thinking about her "crummy power".

God I hate Tagg so much that he makes me miss Piggot. Like she was absolutely terrible, but he's worse! And making me miss Piggot makes me hate Tagg even more!

Kindly old cemetery groundskeeper who doesn't pay much attention to the news! Never a bad trope.

They gave Butcher 15 to Cherish???!? Like sure they give all the reasoning for it but like ... it just seems like a really high risk situation. If she ever gets out it's going to suck. A lot.

THE SCENE AT RACHEL'S PLACE OH MY GOD!

SHE IS BUILDING A COMMUNITY! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!

Rachel just over here finding everyone like her and giving them a place. Legit crying. Look at that fucking growth!

(Also shout-out to my wife for having basically done the same thing. It's how I met her. It's how I met one of my girlfriends. And so many other important people. So ya. I fucking love this.)

Also you ever like a girl so much you try to give her an entire planet? Cause Taylor sure has.

"Rachel I don't want you to be sad when I'm gone so you can basically have this whole other planet we found."

GGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

Imp let Regent take control of her . . . welp. Like, I'm not really surprised by this. And in a different situation I wouldn't even really find it that weird. I'd do it with the right person. But combination of age and the situation they are in and Regent being Regent annnnnd ya. Welp.

I did love how much of the interactions between Skitter and Regent/Imp really was just her struggling with parenting two teenage supervillains.

IT'S NOT SO EASY, IS IT CHILD?!? MAYBE YOU'LL CUT ME SOME SLACK AND LISTEN TO MY ADVICE IN THE FUTURE!

(She won't)

I fucking LOVE that she made the bible themed hero kneel. Absolutely fucking amazing.

Oh shiiit, Skitter just flat dropped that guy multiple stories. Is she going to far?

. . . wellll, these guys do literally worship the Endbringers so I guess a little aggression is ok.

Damn, Valefor sure has some fucked up powers, I wonder what they're gonna do abou-

. . .

. . .

. . . . . .

. . . wellll, these guys do literally worship the Endbringers so I guess a little aggression is ok.

. . .

Yep.

. . .

. . . I think I preferred when she just used a knife.

So anyway

Not a fan of Taylor having more alone time with Brian (not because I have any issue with the idea, but because I think she needs to be focusing on her girlfriends), but I am a fan of her using bugs to clean her dress and fix her hair afterwords while Brian just kinda sits there and has to contemplate what he has gotten himself into. Queen shit.

Flechette was SO mad that Parian wasn't "cute" anymore, I couldn't stop laughing. Sure, she said "You had to take the playfulness away? The joy?" but we all know what she meant. Of course, it's won't take very long for the new costume to get Flechette's attention. (I have to mention that this is basically exactly what I said when reading the scene, and the interlude a few chapters later just proved me right.)

Flechette is just so hopelessly gay

Miss Militia is actually getting very mild respect from me right now. Like, she's still working for the cops but she is actually agreeing to silently push against some things. Now, she says she doesn't have more power then that but she is a very well known hero and if she would publicly speak out about certain things there is a decent chance she could do more. That would of course be putting her position at risk though. Which is why she only gets very mild respect right now.

OH MY GOD I DIDN'T JUST GET TO SEE TATTLETALE'S MURDER WALL, I GOT TO SEE HER ENTIRE MURDER ROOM!

Fucking multiple bulletin boards with threads connecting them. Everything color coded. Reference numbers to files with more details. Multiple TV screens, computer with constant information dump. God. It's like a literal representation of the inside of my mind while I read Worm. SO MANY THINGS TO FIGURE OUT!

I love a lot of characters, but Tattletale always stays near the top. She gets me.

And from the fucking joy of getting to see that setup I come crashing the fuck down.

Like, I have completely figured out at this point that Skitter is turning herself in. I know what is coming. She's had her moment with everyone else and Tattletale is the last one.

And then. Then just . .

No goodbyes.

😭😭😭😭😭

HOW DARE THIS BOOK MAKE ME FEEL MY OWN FEELINGS!! I'M TOO GAY FOR THIS!

I do find it hysterical that the PRT officers working the front lobby don't all recognize Skitter on sight. Fucking gas station employees will manage to keep track of people with pictures on the "bad check" board, you'd think the PRT could manage to have their officers keep track of the face of one of the most well know villains in the country, if not the world, who also controls their city. PRT is forever bad at their job.

That one guy did notice her eventually though, so I guess he gets to be employee of the month.

The Number Man interlude thoughts:

The inside of this mans mind is one of the sexiest things I have ever seen and the constant reminder of the horrible things he is helping Cauldron do to all their prisoners was very helpful because it was the only thing keeping me from deciding that The Number Man is a perfect soul that can do no wrong.

I have no illusions here. I am weak. This man is a monster and I should not have any trouble remembering that.

But fuck shit fuck oh god fuck I don't even need him to touch me. I just need him to TALK to me. I just need him to get high with me and let me pick apart how his mind works!

He understood numbers, and through them, he understood everything.

That line. Absolute killer. Fucking take me.

. . . anyway yes it's a very interesting interlude!

Loved seeing more of the inner workings of Cauldron

I very much want to see the final level of their basement that only the Doctor goes into because I said that I thought Cauldron had a dead (for values of dead that are non-definable) higher dimensional being in their basement back during arc 15 and now I know for sure that there is something down there. I wanna know if I was right!

Oh my god he was friends with Jack

"Friends"

Look I make everything gay ok? It's not my choice! Sure it means I get to enjoy every tiny bit of Wolfspider and Chatterbug cause I see all of it. But it also means I see the ships I don't want to think about!

I men what was I supposed to think when Jack said “We can live this. Together. Every waking second…”?

Gay

Parian interlude thoughts:

And speaking of gay!

Fucking Flechette just full blown "Fuck all of this I want you to tell me what to do for the rest of my life!"

Full U-Haul lesbian.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

This is Parian's new costume having an effect.

Just so gay. I love it.

Also Bitch just so fucking ready to break Skitter out. So fucking gay.

And the incredible loyalty, which is gonna hurt if she ends up feeling betrayed by Skitter.

Still gay though.

Tattletale, basically without powers, just completely giving Accord the "fuck off, we're in charge" was amazing. All she had to do was promise to consider his binders and he was all in. This poor man just wants somebody to read his ideas! He's like a aspiring screenwriter just begging people to read his script.

[multi-fandom-imagine]

A/n: it's been a while since I posted this idea but I am finally writing it. And ugh I am not happy with this 😩

Fem!Reader x which ever Jordan you like, i love them both so I couldn't pick.

It was known to everyone on campus who you were dating, Jordan made it known to anyone that approached a five mile radius from you. They were'r t blind, they could see how half the guy's looked at you. You'd even get a few looks from some of the girls too.

They didn't know why it bothered them so much, they knew you'd never leave them but sometimes that thought couldn't help but drift in their mind every once in a while. It was a concern they voiced to Marie though they never expected her to go to you with their insecurities. Their mind racing from what you might say but of course you didn't bat an eye, you just kissed their cheek then bounded off to your room to change.

Shaking their head, Jordan rubbed the back of their neck. They could still feel the warmth of your kiss on their cheek though they didn't have the chance to think it over as you rushed over to them with a bright smile on your face.

"Ready to go?"

Jordan gave you a teasing smile, their fingers clutching the edge of your dress they then pulled you in close. "We can stay here if you want. Make our own little show."

Rolling your eyes you returned the smile giving their cheek a playful pinch. "How about this, if you enjoy this walk down the path of lights with me then once we get back to our dorm then you can fuck all night long."

Tilting their head to the side, they licked their lips nodding their head. "I am holding you to that." Giving your hand a soft squeeze you two were off.

Smiling, you let your eyes rank over all the lights and though Jordan was smiling you can see some worry in their eyes. You knew what they must be thinking, why were you with them. Nibbling your lip you gave their hand a squeeze as you tugged Jordan to a smaller path of lights.

"You know Jordan, I don't want a lot for Christmas."You gave them a smile rocking on your heels.

"Oh?" Jordan gave you a teasing grin. "And prey tell me, what is this one thing you'd like?" They asked resting their head on yours.

Grinning, you playfully stuck your tongue out at them. "Well there is just one thing I need, annnnnd I don't really care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree."

Jordan chuckled shaking their head as they gave your hand a light squeeze. "Are you gonna get to the point." They teased.

Humming, you stood on your toes letting your lips brush theirs. "I will."

Giving them another kiss you pulled back then rested your head against their chest to listen to their steady heart beat. "I just want you for my own Jordan,More than you could ever know." You wanted to make sure they understood how much you loved them. That they were important to you. "So, will you make my wish come true? And be the only thing I want for Christmas?"

Jordan tensed then relaxed as they pulled you into their chest, a small laugh escaped their lips. Clearing out their throat they cupped your cheeks as they pulled you in for a kiss under the twinkling lights.

"I love you, you know that right?" They muttered agains't your lips before pulling away. "I will be more than happy to be your little present." They teased.

Sighing, you quickly hid your face into their chest, a smile on your face to hide the warmth. "Good." You muttered. It was a beautiful night, with all the lights are shining so brightly, children laughing as they rushed to each spot to look at the display.

But you did not care, because you had someone you love in your arms.

[taste-of-the-divine]

ꕤ | Inked | Percy De Rolo

— VOX MACHINA : switch!percy x femcumslut!reader

✩ 𝙎𝘾𝙀𝙉𝙀: ​you're the first to fall asleep at a party, and you get cumslut written over your forehead with a marker. it causes an "issue" for percy a few hours later. ✩ 𝙋𝙊𝙎𝙏 𝙄𝙉𝙁𝙊: fic (Part 1), 1.8k words ✩ 𝘾𝙊𝙉𝙏𝙀𝙉𝙏 𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂: missing consent/dubcon (percy as victim), powerplay (subby percy into dom percy), degredation, namecalling (cumsl*t, wh*re, l*ve), somnophelia, cumhungry!reader, power dynamic switch, sir, mentions of breeding

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ 𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙀𝙎 𝙁𝙍𝙊𝙈 𝘿𝙄𝙑𝙄𝙉𝙀: i did not proofread this :') hopefulyl its legible BUT eventually i'll go back and make the edits i need. the idea was inspired by this post, and it's probably (?) not done yet.

♡ REBLOGS + LIKES ARE APPRECIATED ♡ 𝘔𝘖𝘙𝘌 𝘝𝘖𝘟 𝘔𝘈𝘊𝘏𝘐𝘕𝘈 | 𝘔𝘈𝘚𝘛𝘌𝘙𝘓𝘐𝘚𝘛 & 𝘖𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙 𝘞𝘖𝘙𝘒𝘚 | 𝘔𝘠 𝘗𝘈𝘎𝘌

“Oh cmon, wasn’t the bet that the first one asleep gets a dick drawn on their forehead?” 

Percy, your boyfriend, shoots Scanlan a dirty look through his rosy drunk cheeks. “Have you no decency? She’s a lady for God’s sake, Scanlan. How will I explain to all of Whitestone tomorrow if we have to leave the confines of our home?” 

The pop of a marker and the cap clicking against the floor was enough of a signal that Scanlan didn’t quite care all that much for the high maintenance prince. “Well, then you have an excuse to stay in for a day. Resting’s important, Percy,” he says, before hopping onto a stool to get to your head, slumped over on the couch. Percy stumbles to his feet to try and stop him from putting that bright pink ink on your skin, but he’s forced back into his chair at the hand of Vax. 

“Hey, he’s right, you know. You kind of need a day at home, if you ask me,” Vax says, leaning his weight on Percy’s shoulder to keep him down. Percy glares at him too, going to shove his hand away so that he could get to you, but to no avail. Percy’s too wasted for hand eye coordination.

“Oh, Percy, darling, relax,” his sister says from across the table, looking at Scanlan trying to balance and draw on your knocked out face. “She agreed to the game before we even started drinking, and she’s an adult, so I’m sure she’ll be fine. And if she isn’t– well, you can make sure she’s fine. In the morning. No more fussing about it now, you can barely get to your feet,” she says, words slurring before taking a swig out of her bottle. 

He can’t relax, at least not when Pike isn’t around. Pike’s usually the babysitter of the group, and with Keyleth vomiting her guts out again, they were somewhere downstairs in the bathroom. Grog wouldn’t be of much help either– he was entranced in some sort of conversation with his reflection in the mirror, flexing and unflexing his muscles to look at. 

“Annnnnd, ta-da!” Scanlan grins, showing the marvel to the three others in the room. Cumslut was written across your forehead in big, bold letters, with a penis as the T. Scanlan was really, an artist of all trades.

Percy was the first to react, and the only one that didn’t burst out in absolute side pinching tears. “Scanlan! You little useless bard!” He swung around to Vex and Vax. “I thought we agreed that it would be the dick drawing?”

“Well,–” Vex laughs, whipping away his tears. “There is a dick. There’s just–” he makes eye contact with Vex across the table, who was holding her own laughter for a little before the two burst out again into hearty giggles. “–some other additions.”

Percy sighed. There wasn’t really another other choice; what’s done is done. Hopefully you wouldn’t be too mad when you woke up in the morning about it. And hopefully, the ink would come off soon.

-

Percy, with his lithe frame, was not the one that carried you into bed. Grog actually carried the both of you into bed– bragging that he could do anything with his giant muscles. Percy would have been grateful for that omission of an opportunity to make a fool out of himself, had he been properly awake during that time of the night. He’d passed out on his own accord after a few more shots into the night.

It didn’t take long before he stirred awake. Alcohol never quite helped keep him asleep as well as it put him to sleep. But his body sure felt warm, skin flushed a little as he reveled in the pleasure of being under clean sheets. There was also pleasure budding from his core, some shifting between his legs– 

“What on earth?!–” he manages to choke out before throwing his head backwards as some cavern of warm, wet heat descends on him. It felt good and needy and desperate, and when he had the moment to take a breath from the sudden crashing waves of pleasure, he lifted the blankets to find you, face nestled neatly between his legs, with his cock in your mouth and a protruding cheek. 

“My love,” he says, voice soft and hitched at first. “Y-you need to stop or else,–” A groan cuts through, his hands fisting the sheet that he’s holding up to see you kitten licking his tip. 

“What’s gotten into you?” he hisses, but he doesn’t get an answer because you take his whole length into your mouth again, mushroom tip gliding against the roof of your mouth before sinking into your back tongue. He’s watching you, or doing the best he can with his eyes half-lidded and his mouth agape. When you wrap your hands around his base, twisting and bobbing at the same time, Percy grimaces, one eye forcing itself shut as he watches you with the other. His cheeks are flushed a deep red, and his skin feels sticky under the touch of your fingers, but all you can think about is his cum, and how much you want it down your throat. 

“S-slow d-down,” he stutters, a frustrated moan drawing out of his throat when you don’t listen. He can’t stop his hips from bucking up into your mouth, the sensation of your tongue swirling around the tip all too much for him. He’s close, and you know that, feeling his balls twitching under your chin– and perfect, because that’s exactly what you want. So you keep at it, watching him writhe and pant and seize up with his head thrown back and his eyes cross when he cums down your throat. It’s sticky and a little bitter from the alcohol, but you don’t mind it at all, because you’ve been craving this feeling since you woke up. You suck, and suck, and keep sucking him, milking every little bit that you can. 

He’s a whimpering mess now, his other hand grabbing you by the hair to attempt to pull you off his cock. 

“Love, love, please– please stop, I’m done, I can’t–” but that gets cut off by another moan, his knees shaking and bottoming out underneath you as your hands work his cock from base to tip, using spit and cum as lube. 

He’s never seen you like this before, so needy, so pushy for it– whatever it, was. In a moment of clarity as your hands lift on the pressure to his cock, he reads the word on your forehead again. Cumslut.

He puts two and two together in the middle of a desperate whimper, throwing his head to the side as the pleasure in his overstimulated dick multiplies. On the nightstand was the marker that Scanlan used, capped and sitting neatly by his nightlight. Grabbing it off the table, he managed what he could with you turning him into putty from the waist down, grabbing one of your hands that you were using to support your weight scribbling “obedient” into it the best he could.

Nothing different happened at first– you continued to milk him for all that he was worth, and Percy couldn’t stop his eyes from rolling to the back of his head as he felt the familiar coil in the abdomen forming, ready to snap. “Hah- hah, hmpfh, s-stop, love, h-hang on–” he begs of you, and for the first time in the night, you oblige, hands and mouth lifting off his cock with the nasty squelch. 

He looks at you, panting, undignified drool at the edge of your lips, and he slips a finger over it and wipes it away. Catching his breath, he dedicates a moment to taking you in; needy, glazed-over cum-hungry eyes as his cock rests on your cheek, tousled hair, plump, shiny lips coated in a thin sheen of spit and semen, the white of your teeth poking out from under. You looked gorgeous for him like that, and he let you know by pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“You want my cum that badly, is that right?” he says, tentative at first. But you nod, rather vigorously, at that. It flips some sort of switch inside of him, and you feel him pull you by the hair, your own whimper leaving your throat as he exposes your throat to him. 

“A little cumslut wants her holes filled. What a sight,” he taunts, a wicked smirk brewing at the corners of his lips. The way he looks at you runs a chill down your spine– it was the way he looked at something he wanted, no, needed, to be under his control. 

And you were more than ready to give that.

“Be a good girl, then. Get on with it. On your hands and knees, on the floor,” he commands you, nodding towards the wood floor you have next to the bed. You glance down and back at him, and he’s watching you expectantly. Heat rising to your own cheeks, you shuffle down, assuming position on all fours as he requested.

You hear him shifting off the bed, stalking behind you– you feel his hands wrap around your waist, and then– a searing burn on your knees as you’re re-oriented, looking up to see the closet mirror and yourself staring back at you, cumslut written over your forehead. And dauntingly, above and behind you, stood Percy. 

You’re naked, because you woke up earlier and tried to satisfy your urges by touching yourself, which, went nowhere, clearly, otherwise you wouldn’t be in this cum-drunk state– but he is clothed; well, partially clothed, his sleeping robe untied and hanging off his shoulders. He knees behind you, secures your ankles to the ground with the weight of his calves and body, and sinks his fingers into your sides. 

“Spread your pussy for me.”

Your eyes go wide, thundering in your chest. He notices your hesitation, and grabs a fistful of hair and pulls you towards him.

“I said, spread your pussy for me. Do I need to repeat myself?”

Some sort of noise comes out of you that sounds vaguely like a whimper and a “yes, sir,” as you take your hands and grab your ass to satisfy his request. You feel a bubbling of dopamine in your chest when you obey him, and it feels good, addictive, almost.

When you feel the weight of his cock pressed against your entrance, your body instinctively gravitates towards him, craving to be filled. But you feel his weight pull away, teasing it along your slit as he leans over to your ear. 

“Be patient, love. Just enjoy it, I’ll do the work, my little cumslut. You’re such a needy little breeding whore, aren’t you?”

© copyright @taste-of-the-divine 2023 ♡ REBLOGS + LIKES ARE APPRECIATED ♡ 𝘔𝘖𝘙𝘌 𝘝𝘖𝘟 𝘔𝘈𝘊𝘏𝘐𝘕𝘈 | 𝘔𝘈𝘚𝘛𝘌𝘙𝘓𝘐𝘚𝘛 & 𝘖𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙 𝘞𝘖𝘙𝘒𝘚 | 𝘔𝘠 𝘗𝘈𝘎𝘌

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

02/22/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Rhys Darby's 3 cameos Jeez; Clowning/Honking (no clown pictures); PhoneInFriday in the UK; SaveOFMD Crew Events on IG; Fan Spotlight; Custom Jackets; Collages; Chxrlotte New Song: OFMD; Morale/Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika;

== Rhys Darby ==

Good god, 3 Cameo's today? I hope you all enjoy dopamine-- remember to take a break in between because SHEESH. My brain overloaded real bad on #VitaminRD.

= Cameo 1: =

The latest cameo features Rhys as Murray from Flight of the Conchords Thank you @it_llpass and "The Maybe Dids", a group of FotC fans, for getting this cameo and sharing it with everyone! Rhys Sings Leggy Blonde at the end, be sure to hold onto you seat. Src: Cameo Link - Also up on the Repo in the Cameo's section

= Cameo 2: =

This cameo was put together by NDKiwi and The Giggle Bytes (and special thanks to @yronnia for keeping me in the loop, I've been waiting for this one since you mentioned it! The Giggle Bytes are a group of fans who really love Rhys and his Robots and sound effects! Thank you to everyone who was involved in getting this wonderfully whimsical video made! Src: Cameo Link

= Cameo 3: =

Thank you to the HWCC for this wonderful clowning video! Rhys scared the crap out of me in the first 6 seconds, so CW with jump scares friends. Src: Cameo

Speaking of clowning...

== Clown/Honk Alert ==

So normally I would leave this in the cast & crew section, but they're part of the honking narrative today so here we go! The very first thing today that triggered some honking was Con O'Neill posting on his IG page the Rotten Tomatoes stats (which btw I know a lot of you have been reviewing-- and it's totally working! Those numbers have gone up from the last time I looked! GREAT JOB!)

Which of course Samba, and Erroll posted in their IG Stories. Then, to add to the excitement, one of our crew-mates @soglamwow on twitter @'d Samba with our latest stats and he RESPONDED.

Annnnnd to continue the clowning, Rhys JUST SO HAPPENED to take a little hiatus from Cameo until March.

Okay so AND THEN, a sweet article from Paste was published today, and in it, Vico Ortiz talks about the SaveOFMD effort! See some of that article below!

These Thems‘ Vico Ortiz and Gretchen Wylder Talk Industry Obstacles to Making Queer Stories

If you've never seen These Thems' Please watch them here on youtube!

Now, this is all pure speculation, but the scuttlebutt around the bronzetub booze cooler is there seems to be a LOT of engagement from multiple cast members across MULTIPLE platforms SPECIFICALLY having to do with the renewal. All of that + Vico having an article published giving shout outs to the crew? AND Rhys deciding to take some time off (which could be because he's cranking out cameos like no tomorrow, or because he found out what Vianton means, we don't know) all together in one day--- FOLLOWING multiple days of BTS and increased engagement on all platforms... it seems like a perfect storm for clowning/honking.

I found this on @mytabsclosed's Twitter after writing this up, so it's definitely the TLDR; version:

I wouldn't be surprised if we get some sort of breadcrumb from Chaos Dad tomorrow, but don't quote me on that. I can clown town and hope though!

== UK Folks! ==

Feb 23 is #PhoneInFriday - Call in to B.B.C. 3 to request Gnossienne No. 5 at 6:30 am G.M.T., and B.B.C. 2 to request The Chain at 4 pm G.M.T. Those outside the U.K. can text or email! Need info on where to call/email, visit: How to Call into BBC

== Save OFMD Events on IG ==

The Save OFMD Crew has been doing a lot of fun engagement events on IG the last couple days! Yesterday was #Wrong Wednesday where folks submitted their incorrect captions for various pictures. Just a couple highlights below!

Today was #TheoryThursday! It's still going on if you're interested in joining! Just comment on their post here!

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Custom OFMD Jackets =

Tonight's new fan spotlight is @investedfandoms on Instagram! They make custom OFMD Jackets -- made to order! Check out these awesome designs!

If this is something you're interested in feel free to hit them up-- they're $200/each or if you provide your own jacket, $175 (which includes shipping). This is their only source of income at the moment so if you'd like one, this would be a great time order one and help out a fellow crew-mate!

= Collages =

More Collages for the month of February from our fabulous crew-mate @ WanderingNomad!

Day 22: #Boyfriends!!

Catch Up: Day 3: Kristian Nairn!

== Chxrlotte New Release! ==

Chxrlotte is a UK artist that gained public attention after the releease of their Good Omens song "Come With Me". She's just released a new song "Message In A Bottle" which is all about Our Flag Means Death! Thank you @libbyroseitm for sending me the deets on this! Please give it a listen! It's really lovely. "Message In A Bottle" On Spotify

== Morale / Love Notes ==

Wow friends. Today was a big one. Lots and lots of trending, lots of cameos, lots of honk honk honking. It was seriously busy. I hope some of the activity has helped raise some spirits! The cast & crew are definitely seeing our efforts and really showing us they are! Remember that when things feel down, they know we're fighting and they're behind us too! Vico's words: "It also makes me hopeful seeing how y’all are mobilizing and are incredibly earnest and passionate about seeing queer content on TV or wherever that may be. It makes me, as a producer, as a writer, as an actor, excited to know that there is a community of folks who are going to support queer content that I make and attach myself to with friends that are also queer creators, and writers, and producers, and actors, because I want to give it to y’all.”  And to end on-- words from Rhys' own mouth today in one of his cameos: "Don't Stop Clowning! Until you get arrested!"

===================

Okay lovelies. It's that time again for me to be annoyingly loving towards you. I hope you're ready! Did you know you're doing an amazing job? Like, a fucking stellar job. Whatever you're struggling with, however you're coping, you're kicking ass! You are still here with us, and I am so fucking grateful for that! I know sometimes it's really hard to give yourself self-love (I am in fact terrible at it), so I just wanna take this moment to let you know I am rooting for you! Everyone on our crew is rooting for you! You are doing your very best, and there's no one in this world who can compare to you and what you're going through. Your struggles are hard, but you are making it through because you are a strong, resilient, powerhouse of a human being! YOU are a force to be reckoned with. YOU are a kind and caring soul who puts so much good into the world. YOU are an inspiration. YOU are mind-blowingly amazeballs (that's the technical term) and you are going to do marvelous things no matter how big or how small they are. I believe in you and so does everyone on your crew, whole-heartedly. When you're ready, go shine lovelies, you deserve to shine.

====================

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Annnnnnnnnnnnnd regarding gifs tonight-- The moment I saw it, I knew this was todays Darby Gif, Courtesy of @ofmd-ann, and then of course, found this lovely Taika Gif today courtesy of @agaywithcoffee that seems pretty appropriate.

[corruptedcaps]

Bitchy Besties: part 2

In the car ride over Tanya gabbed about everyone in high school and all their dirty little secrets. Kate couldn’t believe the insight she was gaining about the other students she had known for years. Tanya even spilled the beans on her best friends.

Kate figured Tanya saw Kayleigh as more of a peer than some beta follower like the rest of Tanya’s friends. Despite despising Tanya, Kate found it somewhat rewarding having her bully so enamoured with her.

Tanya brought her around to all the bougie stores and they tried on outfit after outfit and the two were having a genuinely good time together. Kate had never worn so many tight and revealing outfits but she had to admit that they all looked great on her.

Finishing up with a trip to the nail salon, they both got a matching set of new press on's. As the beautician worked, Kate entertained her bully with fabricated stories of her life, who thankfully seemed to eat it up. Some stories were just things Kate remembered Tanya had done but she tweaked certain details to be more ‘Kayleigh’-like, whatever that had come to mean.

Posing for a selfie together, the two girls proudly showed off their new nails.

“This is going to blow up on socials babe, two hawt bitches like us. What’s your handle so I can tag you?” Tanya asked.

Kate started to panic, a girl like Kayleigh would certain have more social media than anyone else but Kate had never bothered. She had to think of an excuse.

“Oh I don’t have any. Well not anymore anyway. Remember the cyber bullying I told you I was doing before? Well my parents made me delete everything, otherwise they weren’t going to fund my trip to Paris.” Kayleigh said sounding genuinely pissed at her fabricated parents.

“Well did you go to Paris?” Tanya asked.

“Eh yeah, remember I told you about the hot French guy I fucked there?” Kayleigh replied.

“Then the statute of limitations are up.” Tanya said grabbing Kayleigh’s phone from her hand before she could be stopped. Tanya was like a pro quickly setting up new accounts for Kayleigh. In 60 seconds flat she handed the phone back.

“Now to tag you in this gorgeous pic of us. Annnnnd posted. You’ll be royalty in this town before the end of the day. So naturally I gave you the handle QueenKayleigh. No need to thank me. Don’t you love it?” Tanya said with a gleeful smirk.

Kaleigh pulled up the post of the two of them and saw the caption read “Hanging with my new BFF @QueenKayleigh, add her now! She’s the real deal.” Kayleigh stared for a long time at ‘BFF’. She had never had a best friend before, it felt kind of nice even if it was Tanya. Speaking of which she realized that Tanya had been waiting for an answer.

“Oh babes this is amazing, we look like twins don’t we?” Kayleigh said to a waiting Tanya who beamed at her.

“Totes! A pair of bitchy babes. Oh looks like you’re blowing up already.” Tanya said as Kayleigh’s phone started a waterfall of chimes. Kayleigh looked down at her phone and sat a barrage of likes, comments and follow requests. It was kind of overwhelming but satisfying to see so many people give her attention.

Comments such as ‘dammmmmn! Who’s the new hottie?’, ‘queens!’, and ‘omg, instant follow!’ were quickly going to her head, she did look stunning after all. Each chime was like an endorphin hit.

“Thanks hun, this will help me jump the social ladder to the top, where sexy babes like us belong. Assuming I pick your school.” Kayleigh said with a natural bitchy purr.

“I hope you choose to come to our school babe, it’s a dump for sure but together the two of us would be unstoppable together. The names Kayleigh and Tanya will make all the losers shudder and all the boys hard. Speaking of which I think I see one checking you out right now.” Tanya said nodding over to a handsome guy sitting in the food court.

Kayleigh looked over to see a handsome college aged guy smiling at her. It had taken her years to attract the meagre attention of Cory and now the hottest guy she had ever seen was checking her out. She remembered the Evie stories and tried to picture what the girls in those stories would do. Standing up she turned and gave Tanya a wink and strode confidently over to the guy.

“Hey hot stuff, were you going to stare at me all day or were you going to ask me out?” She said with a tilt of her head and a sly smile. The guy seemed taken aback by the forwardness but quickly gained his composure.

“Eh yes of course I’d love too. How’s Saturday?” He asked. Kayleigh felt a power over him that she had never felt before. His eyes drank her in and he seemed eager to please. He wanted her and he would do anything she asked. She had to test it out. Remembering how Tanya snatched her phone from her, Kayleigh quickly took the guy’s phone from his hand and started to type.

“No. You’ll pick me up Friday, 9pm, got it? Here, you’re following me on Insta now. DM later for my address.” She said playfully as she handed his phone back to him.

Tanya couldn’t tell what they were talking about from where she sat but could see Kayleigh had the guy wrapped around her little finger. Kayleigh seemed to be having fun, giggling, touching his arm, playing with her hair.

“See you Friday Lucas, and don’t be late.” Kayleigh said wrapping up their flirtation finally. With a cheeky smile, she turned on her heel and strutted away. She felt his eyes on her butt and made sure he had plenty of time to take it all in.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Lucas shouted after her.

“Oh babes you’re such a baddie. He’s gorgeous. What did you two talk about?” Tanya asked eager to hear.

“We’ve got a date on Friday.” Kayleigh said with a nonchalance tone.

“Oh girl you work fast, I’m so jelly. I should have pounced on him first.” Tanya said with a smirk back to her.

“Oh you misunderstand me babe, when I say ‘we’ I mean you, me, him and his frat brother. They’re taking us to a club. Maybe we can swap at some point during the night, if you’re that keen on him.” Kayleigh said grinning as Tanya listened, her mouth open.

“Kayleigh, where have you been my whole life? You’re the baddest bitch ever.” Tanya said suddenly hugging Kayleigh.

The whole act seemed to momentarily dislodge Kate from what she was doing and stand back mentally from it all. Only yesterday Tanya was bullying her and she was an outcast and now she was suddenly her best friend with plans of a double date that she had orchestrated! What was she doing? The whole scenario was bizarre and she realized that this wasn’t her, she needed to wrap this up and fast.

“You ok babe?” Tanya said noticing something off.

“Yeah, yeah of course. Just been a long day.” Kaleigh said feigning a yawn.

“Yeah for real, let me drive you home.” Tanya said but Kate suddenly panicked. Tanya couldn’t see where she lived plus she needed to retrieve her clothes still.

"No my parents are expecting to pick me up at the school so you can drop me back there." Kayleigh said already getting up.

The drive back to the school was quieter than the ride to the mall. Kate was deep in thought, her mind at war with itself. Tanya continued to gossip but Kate wasn't taking it all in like before.

"Are you sure you don't want me to drop you home babe?" Tanya asked, sensing something still off about her new friend as she got out of the car.

"No I'm perfect hun, it will give me time to think about my choices." Kayleigh said with a smile.

"Well you know what I hope you choose, this school could use Kayleigh and so could I. See ya later!" Tanya said returning the smile and speeding off. Kate stood in front of the school unsure what to do next.

To be concluded...

[pinesfamilyguidetotheweird]

Gravity Falls Thoughts: Ford and Trauma™ Part 2 (Forced Insomnia)

Annnnnd here we are with Part 2 of Ford and Trauma™!

Last time, we tackled the likelihood of Ford living off of pills and coffee over the last 30 years. So, what’s the logical next part?

Perhaps one of the most popular Ford ships out there!

Ford x Sleeeeep!!!!

Or…his problems with it. Let’s go with that.

If Gravity Falls went a bit longer (like if it had 3 seasons), this could have been a running gag of sorts for Ford, his lack of sleep or at least the repercussions of said lack of sleep, such as him dozing off in weird places.

And you can blame a certain dream demon for that.

Not long after Ford learns of Bill’s true colors, Ford did anything he could to prevent Bill from having any control of the situation…that includes depriving himself of sleep due to his deal with Bill.

…Yeah…um…there is a glaring issue on that plan, I must say. And that is the fact that depriving yourself of sleep…will not be beneficial in the long run.

According to Healthline, there are 5 Sleep Deprivation Stages, each stage is determined by the many hours of no sleep.

Stage 01 is after 24 hours of no sleep. A personal fact here, y’all: I’ve done this before twice in my life, staying up for about 24 hours…it was not fun both times.

While not necessarily a cause for major problems, there will be some issues, such as decreased alertness, drowsiness, fatigue, increased risks of mistakes…

Stage 02, after 36 hours (A day and a half), and you’ll start experiencing severe cognitive impairment. Not to mention an overwhelming desire for sleep and the likelihood of having microsleeps (short bouts of sleep that lasts for about 30 secs) is possible.

Come Stage 03 (after 48 hours) and hoooo…boy, things aren’t lookin’ good at all! This is where hallucinations can start setting in. Which, in Ford’s paranoid case, is a definite cause for concern. And there’s depersonalization, anxiety, heightened stress levels, increased irritability, and extreme fatigue. Microsleeps becomes more of a guarantee. And you won't realize it.

At Stage 04 (after 72 hours), along with more frequent and longer microsleeps, the hallucinations could get more complex.

Then finally, at Stage 05 (after 96 hours and more), you’ll start to experience a little thing called sleep deprivation psychosis, when your perception of reality is severely distorted due to lack of sleep.

So…not much of a shock to see this…

And we don’t even know how long Ford had been trying to keep himself awake. Even Journal 3 (I have the regular edition) doesn’t provide the answer for this except for the mad scrawlings of CAN’T SLEEP and the hellish amount of coffee he drank.

This can also explain his insistence on preserving his journals instead of just destroying them. He’s not thinking clearly due to lack of sleep.

It is possible to recover from this, though, it will take a while.

It can take days or weeks to recover from a bout of sleep deprivation. Just 1 hour of sleep loss requires 4 days to recover. The longer you’ve been awake, the longer it will take to get back on track.

And considering that Ford got sucked into the Portal before he could have a moment for well deserved rest…kind of a similar situation to his crap diet while on the run, how often was Ford able to get a full night's rest? I mean...look how he sleeps now, in day wear with his coat, glasses, and boots on, like he has to be prepared to book it...

It’s honestly a wonder that Ford came back to our dimension without sporting some eyebags that would give Shouta Aizawa (or even Toshinori Yagi) a run for his money.

…Question: So, Bill had free reign of entering Ford’s mind when he sleeps, right? Did Bill still do that during Ford’s travels up until he got that plate installed?

...So, what should I talk about next? The bullying Ford had to endure? Father of the Year, Filbrick Pines? Possible complex PTSD? Major Guilt? Wounds and potential complications? Bill -fucking- Cipher and the abuse?